Relationship Advice - Finding And Keeping True Love
True love. What a great feeling! Books, movies and songs are made about it. We all tend to think there is one true love for us and we can’t be eternally happy until we find it. You can get intimacy help about this here.
So we search all over and finally find someone and it does feel fantastic - for about the first six months or so. During this time, we feel totally loved and we love everything about our new mate.
After about six months or so we find that the feeling of true love begins to fade some. We start to have little arguments and conflicts. We notice we want a little space or we get hurt that our mate wants some space. What happened to true love. Is it lost?
No, we haven’t lost true love. It just changes, and it will change for all of us! Psychologists have found that relationships occur in phases. The first initial period of a relationship is called the “oceanic love” period. This is when we are totally merged. We love everything about them. It is marvelous!
But then, the research finds, we all move out of that phase into the “me/us” phase. In this phase, we differentiate, we separate some, we get back to working on our own goals and interests, we don’t want to spend ALL our time with our mate. We start having some conflicts with our partner in this phase. This is normal and healthy and natural. You can get Love And Intimacy Help about this here.
If we didn’t move apart some, we wouldn’t be able to function well in the world. We’d be a merged mess with our partner, trying to get all our happiness from each other, which doesn’t work long term. We each have to move on with our lives separately and as a couple, we have to take our journeys.
So here’s the thing. If you want to keep true love, you have to adjust. Don’t give up when the oceanic love phase passes. You have to learn that it is deeper than just the first strong physical attraction. You have to figure out that it is about loving the whole person, with their strengths and weaknesses.
To keep true love, you have to learn that conflict is okay. It will happen. True love includes some conflict between two healthy normal adults with their own lives and interests. True love includes them needing their own space and not running when things get uncomfortable from time to time. It includes working things out. This is the only way you’ll ever get to keep it. You can get more How To Get Love Relationship Advice here.